Are you still there?
by kiratorii
Summary: My very first one shot. What happens when someone you love leaves you because of it? What would you do?


**Author's Note : Hiii this is my very first time writing a fanfic. It's loosely based on a series of real life events . Read and review please. Constructive critism welcomed, No flames please. Italics are Flashbacks  
**

**Disclaimer : Sakura and Shaoran DO NOT belong to me they belong to clamp. Neither is the song I used mine. It belongs to Marie Digby.  
**

**Alright read and enjoy ^^**

**Are you still there...?  
**

" _Neh Shaoran kun we'll be friends forever always right?" Sakura shyly asked. "Of course... we'll be friends forever always" Shaoran replied smiling softly. " Ja ne Shaoran. Promise me you'll write me loads of letters when you're in Hong Kong." "Of course silly Sakura," he smiled waving his hands as he left._

**Dear friend I haven't heard from you in ages  
I wonder how you're making out  
last time we talked I felt the space growing  
between us  
I didn't think you'd go so far**.

Days... Months... passed and still no letters from Shaoran. "Oh Shaoran, what happened to you? Why aren't you there anymore?" Sakura whispered softly the teardrops welling up in her eyes. "Oh Shaoran... do you still remember me?" Sakura muttered, hands gripping her skirt tightly, losing herself in the memories of time.

**Tell me how could you just vanish  
without giving me any reasons  
what were you thinking  
and does this all make sense to you?**

"_Look look Shaoran, aren't those flowers so pretty?" Sakura exclaimed happily with a grin, taking a deep wiff of the flower. " Yeah" Shaoran smiled gently, "but the rays of fading sunset on this flowers make them even prettier, though you're the prettiest flower of them all." "Oh stop teasing me Shaoran" , Sakura whacked him lightly on the shoulder, face blushing. Bending over she plucked a flower from the bush and turned to face Shaoran. " For you" she said, grinning widely from ear to ear. "But but but..." Shaoran sputtered off turning red and speechlessly accepting the flower. "What's wrong?" Sakura glanced curiously at his face with confusion. "Nothing..." Shaoran muttered gazing off silently into the distance. _

"_Hey Shaoran... are you happy?" Sakura asked curiously. " Yeah" Shaoran replied looking thoroughly confused. Sakura glanced closely at his face examining it for a few seconds. "You sure?" Sakura questioned looking deeply into his eyes. "Yeah Sakura. Why the weird question?" Shaoran replied looking thoroughly confused. "Oh i just wanted to be sure." Sakura replied cheerfully. "Well then I'll see you tomorrow at school then." Shaoran sighed, slightly frustrated at Sakura's liking of asking random questions out of the blue._

_A while after Shaoran had left, Sakura's smile left her face as a sad look etched itself on her face. __**"Neh Shaoran but why do your eyes say that you're not happy at all? Are you really contented with what's in front of you at the moment? Why won't you tell me anything? Why does it feel like you're so far off in the distance yet near within reach?"**__ Sakura questioned quietly with a sad smile on her face. _

**It's hard when you don't say anything  
when i gave you everything  
and still you slip right through my fingers  
it's hard when you don't say anything  
is this how you finish things?  
Because to me, this doesn't feel like the end... Dear friend**

"_What is it Sakura? Why did u call me here?" Shaoran asked curiously. Sakura stammered staring at the ground like it was the only thing worth noticing in the vicinity, bangs covering her usually bright cheery emerald eyes. "I just... well... I'm really grateful you're always there for me no matter what as a friend and we've always had so much fun together.. and well promise this won't spoil anything in our friendship?" She peeked nervously at his face, wringing her fingers nervously and losing the words she wanted to say so much. Shaoran face showed signs of losing patience with Sakura. "Look Sakura whatever it is you can be honest with me. It won't spoil any of our friendship." _

**it's not like me to put my trust in somebody  
but to you I gave it all  
and if you'd asked me I would soften all your falls  
but now it's me who's stumbling**

"_I...I... love you" Sakura literally yelled out, face going red as a tomato, eyes shut tightly not daring to look into Shaoran's face, afraid of his response. Shaoran stared speechless at Sakura unable to grasp what she just said. "And..." Sakura continued. " I want to be there for you always, I want to show you I really care, you've done so much for me and You're so gentle... so kind... so good... and I can't help it... I've really fallen in love with you." Sakura finished off, tears leaking from her face. _

**tell me how could you just vanish  
without giving me any reasons  
what were you thinking?  
And does this all make sense to you?**

"_I'm... glad you think of me this way... but I'm sorry... all I you've ever been to me is a sister..." Shaoran replied softly cupping Sakura's face gently looking at her tear stained eyes, searching her for a hint to what she would reply. " I see..." Sakura choked out the words over her sobbing cries, the hurt evident in her voice. "Thank you Sakura for feeling this way... and __**I'll see you around soon**__." Shaoran turned without a word and left, leaving a tearfully sobbing Sakura behind staring wistfully at his fading presence. A bit after that event, Shaoran left news that he was returning to Hong Kong for good._**  
**

**It's hard when you don't say anything  
when I gave you everything  
and still you slip right through my fingers  
it's hard when you don't say anything  
is this how you finish things  
cause to me this doesn't feel like the end... dear friend...**

"In the end Shaoran why didn't you tell me anything...? Why did you keep it all to yourself? Do you know I'm still waiting here for you? Will you return back here...? To where we once were again...? And... are we still friends forever...?" Sakura quietly whispered, closing her eyes and a single tear dripping down her cheeks.

**After Note: It's more or less how I really feel at the moment... Vari wherever you are, I'm still waiting for you... and no matter what I don't want to lose you as my friend most of all... Again it's my first time so I'm sorry if it's bad or anything. Also the words in bold italic were words I really thought or words he said. The guy I fell for I mean. Again Read and review so I can improve. Arigatou minna ^^**


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